Lately I’ve had a lot of past memories coming up into my awareness, triggering strong emotions and a feeling of being ‘lost in time’ and not being able to really come into the present. At these times it feels really scary to be with my feelings, as I’m scared I’ll get too strongly pulled into the past and be unable to return to the present. It’s these times when I really have to trust in the spiritual tool-kit I’ve been working on for so long- my perseverance, strength, trust, patience and acceptance.
When old memories come back to us, accompanied by intense feelings, we often either try to deny them – shutting them out or pushing them back down out of awareness- or we dwell on them, losing all touch with the present moment we are now in, becoming completely absorbed in the past and running the risk of being pulled back into past patterns and habits.
So, what can we do when a person, situation, place, photo, song or anything triggers us into a past emotional state?
Is there something we can do instead of running away from it (not facing it) or becoming completely absorbed by it (becoming overpowered by it)?
Is there another solution?
What if we find the courage, the patience, the trust, the strength, to just BE WITH it. Not BE iy. But be WITH it.
What if we can pause, create some sacred time and space for ourselves, and invite our larger presence- even if that’s just our breathe- to observe what’s going on.
Not a cold, unfeeling observation devoid of humanness. But a soft yet strong, gentle yet firm, neutral yet accepting unconditional acceptance of ALL feelings that are surfacing for us in that moment.
What happens then depends on our own process, our own journey, but ultimately as we invite in a non-judgemental, unconditional acceptance into our current emotional experience, we create a kind of energetic solution (just like the other meaning for solution as an aqueous substance) in which our emotional experience can dismantle into the larger ‘solution’ of our neutral presence, and then slowly reassemble into a more coherent state, one more closely aligned with our larger, peaceful presence.
You don’t need to engage in a highly complicated spiritual ritual to do this, and it doesn’t require any special objects, person or place. All that’s needed to achieve the energetic alchemy of your emotional experience of fear, confusion, frustration, anger or any other dis-comfort or feeling of dis-connection, is YOU.
You ARE the solution- your focused attention, your choice to turn to you- right now, as you are.
And not only that.
But your current shit/stuff/baggage/problems- internal (feelings or sensations) or external (people or situations) – is WHERE to start. In fact, it’s the ONLY place to look. Because in this pile of mess is where you will find emotional liberation. And once you find that, all else follows.
So when discomfort strikes, don’t run from, it, push it away, push it down, and don’t become engulfed by it either.
Just stay with it.
Invite in your larger presence and be WITH it. Use your breath to observe it, explore it, feel your feelings and allow them to shift- in their own time, in their own way.
Imagine you are a mother to your feelings- meet them with support, calmness, encouragement and unconditional acceptance, with a strong firm knowing that after the tantrum, the release, the expression, they will settle and find the re-connection they are seeking.
It may take some patience, some perseverance, some trust and some mental strength- but you’ve got this. And you’ve got enough to start exactly where you are and as you practice being with your feelings, inviting in your calm neutrality you’ll grow these importance skills that will serve you for life- trust, patience, acceptance and perseverance.
You can use anything annoying or uncomfortable in this way, as an invitation to return to the present moment, because the very fact that you are experiencing anything other than joy and peace is a sign that there is some part of your attention not in the now moment…so when viewed in this way, every annoyance- tiny or huge- can become like a homing signal to use your breath and turn on your presence to BE WITH the part/aspect of you that is being pulled away from the present moment, so that when it is ready (after you’ve sat with, listened to and acknowledged it) it can once again re-memeber, re-intergeate and re-turn to the whole of you, in the present moment.
Let’s embrace our selves- our light, our dark, our everything. We are worthy. Worthy of our own time, patience, acceptance, trust, perseverance and love.
Let’s re-member ourselves, slowly, in our own perfect time, in our own perfect sequence. Let’s place value on this, and invest in ourselves.
Let’s re-member that we are the solution we seek- when we feel that longing, anger, regret, loneliness, pain, confusion…let’s take ourselves seriously- let’s pause, listen to, be with, validate all and everything about us- and observe how slowly, but very surely, these dis-membered parts of ourselves find expression and naturally shift, returning to where they belong- in the present moment, in joy.
And then the relief- that we never needed to fix anything or solve all the problems out there… all we needed was our own loving time and attention….simple but not easy. But definitely do-able- right now, and always just a breath away.
THIS is our real work- mindfulness of our own experience- and mindful that it IS OUR own experience…and that we can use our mind and our choice to turn inward to BE THERE for ourselves- fully, with everything we have, even if we think it’s not enough, especially when we think it’s not enough.
Life presents us every day with ample opportunities to do this inner work. It requires a slowing down and a conscious decision to take life around us less seriously, and ourselves more seriously- and by seriously I mean validating our feelings (but not projecting them), listening to our bodies’ stories (but not buying into them) and accepting ourselves as we are, right now (by not wanting to feel anything other than what we are right now- showing unconditional love and deep trust in our own process).
If you are requiring support, inspiration or motivation to re-connect more deeply with yourself, and build your own spiritual tool-kit, contact me for a session. Supporting others in building their spiritual confidence, experiencing emotional liberation and enjoying the abundance of precious moments in every day is what I love to do.