THIS memory from my second son’s first hours- brings up so much happiness and raw emotion for me, totally blissful and a mother a second time round.
Also had just discovered my baby girl was a baby boy, ‘she’s got balls!’ I laughed out loud through my tears of joy, as did everyone else…but his name stuck- my gorgeous Indiana, my beautiful mystery.
I’m once again about to go on call as doula for 2 women both heavily pregnant and waiting.
Being on-call for birth always reminds me of waiting for my own two births. Waiting, waiting, waiting, and then boom- amazing miracle right there in my own to hands…familiar yet totally taking me by surprise.
Photos and memories like this one remind me that life is never ordinary, sometimes we’re just waiting on another miracle.
I’m mindful of my clients, my friends and my family- one especially…you know who you are ;-), who are waiting, waiting, waiting- sometimes patiently, sometimes restlessly, sometimes with a breaking heart.
But, I invite you to enjoy the wait…the outcome is assured, it’s just not visible yet.
In my own life, I only have to wait 2 more days until both my babies are home with me again, having been away for the holidays.
In the last 2 weeks I’ve moved house, settled our new canine, worked hard and taken some time for me as well, but nothing can now hide the fact that I am definitely waiting for my own tribe to return home. But there’s no resistance anymore, no doubt, no friction. I enjoy my waiting now, because I realise that I GET to wait for someone, something- what a gift.
Waiting, Waiting, Waiting.
Patiently, Knowingly, Gratefully.
Being present at birth- as a new mother myself, and as a doula and support for other women, reminds me that each time I encounter those that I’ve missed and that I love it is always an opportunity to receive that person a little more deeply, a little more fully, as I bring myself more fully, and more deeply, into the present moment too.
The feeling of ‘connection’, which many are craving through many different substances and experiences, is HERE and AVAILABLE in the present moment- it’s just that WE aren’t always HERE and AVAILABLE.
Breathe through whatever moment or phase you’re at, whatever stage or ‘process’ you find yourself in, deeply, mindfully and with acceptance.
See if you can allow this moment, and the next, and the next, to be new. See what changes.
See what doesn’t.
Be mindful. Be present. Bring your full energy into your current experience- without judgement, just with calm curiosity and a little gratitude.
Wait calmly, breathe deeply, and you may discover you are no longer ‘waiting’ for anything or anyone else…it’s a deeper connection with yourself that is the deeper desire.
If we aren’t feeling ‘connected’, then we are always ‘waiting’ to be seen and received. And the ironic thing is that once we are seen and received by others around us, and by ourselves- regardless of our changing emotional expressions, aspects and moods- we became free to discover that familiar, eternal, unchanging element of ourselves which is our anchor -our calm, steady centre- sitting calmly and happily under the the ocean of life’s changing weather and currents, and remaining blissfully unaware of the vessel on the surface (our personality) and it’s response to those.
We are both the anchor (unchanging being-ness) AND the vessel (our personality) on the ‘ocean’ of life. But for that sense of deeper connection, which brings with it greater wellbeing, we need to make contact with our anchor, and that core part of us that is unchanging. This ENHANCES the ride, and makes the ocean much more easy to navigate- we have our bearings once more.
Try a little more presence today, a deeper breath, a little more willingness, and see what changes in how you respond to your day ahead.
Turn Waiting into a practice in Mindfulness, and see if you can feel into a calm, peacefulness inside regardless of the external happenings around you. And let me know how you go!
For more support in developing a Mindfulness Practice to bring greater physical, emotional and mental wellbeing into your daily life, contact me for a session time either in your home or outdoors in the Bouddi National Park.
I’ve been super busy the past couple of months, and found myself feeling disconnected.
When I feel disconnected from life, from my children, from my partner, there’s always just the one solution- to reconnect with myself…all the rest follow suit, responding to my lead.
What’s disconnection feel like for you?
Is it empty, hollow, overwhelmed, frazzled, diluted. A little lost, a little ungrounded?
For me, it’s a little of all of the above. And my eyes kind of lose their sparkle.
But, the AWESOME thing about disconnection?
You get to RECONNECT, and I find that each time I do this, I get a little more in touch with myself, and a little more in touch with life. I call this time of re-connection, which can sometimes take a few hours and sometimes a few days, my ‘teepee time’. Like a man goes into his ‘cave’, I head into my invisible teepee and just unplug from the world, listen to those parts of myself that have something to say and remind myself that I am number 1 in my life, and that to be fully present in my relationships, I have to be fully present for myself.
On a day to day basis, I’ve found that looking after my Body, Mind and Soul help me feel connected to life/spirit/source/Huey- call it what you will- more often than not, and mean that I’m more aware of dis-connecting from myself/my truth/my path in the early stages, rather than when I get too far out of my own lane.
So, my HOT tips for remaining connected with yourself, and making it easier to reconnect with yourself when that connection fades out cause Life Happens!…
Body- lots of pure water, eating food in it’s most natural state, daily movement, time in nature, enough rest & stable sleeping patterns.
Mind- mindful breathing, mindful movement, intentionally generating feelings of gratitude, having a daily mindfulness practice when you go inward, breathe deeply, and just watch your thoughts with non-judgement and acceptance.
Soul- clearing your energy- the electromagnetic field around your physical body (which is just stuck/old emotions or thoughts). You can do this using reiki & other intentional energy balancing techniques, but time in nature will do it too!- go for a bush walk, a surf, a run, do some yoga…just get outside, get moving and have the intention of letting go of yesterday and coming into the present moment.
Every day. Play with your cooking, cleaning, children, lover, laundry, sport, work, pets…be curious, be open and remember that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. No matter HOW pressing some short term problem seems to be, remember life is a gift, and when it doesn’t feel like it, you just need to do some unwrapping.
And, although it’s crucial to look after your body, mind and soul, this is just the support act…the Real Show is you enjoying life, showing up and expressing, creating and being what you came here to express, create and be…and bringing your slice of heaven to earth.
A brand new Mindfulness Class starts July 21st at Community Connect Killcare SLSC.
Midday Mindfulness is the perfect way to glide mindfully into each weekend, as you learn to become aware of your thoughts, and be more intentional with your focus. There’s lots of opportunity to practice being mindful, as well as time for discussion and a 15 min Q & A at the end of each class.
The growing body of research on mindfulness reveals the following list of core benefits:
• Better Focus and Concentration
• Increased Sense of Calm
• Decreased Stress and Anxiety
• Improved Impulse Control
• Increased Self A wareness
• Skillful Responses to Difficult Emotions
• Increased Empathy and Understanding of Others
• Development of Natural Conflict Resolution Skills
If you’re ready to allow more of the above into your daily life, come along, bring a friend, and start experiencing the many benefits that Mindfulness offers.
Fridays 12pm, upstairs in the Killcare SLSC auditorium.
I’d love to see you there!
*Heart Donations* Now Available for Wellbeing Sessions!
A Heart Donation is an amount of money (or other agreed upon products or services) that is affordable to an individual as payment for a product or service.
Heart Donations have been inspired by the generosity of people in my own life, and are a way of me extending my gratitude in the form of making my services available to those whom may benefit from them but may otherwise be prevented from doing so due to financial constraints.
Are you ‘nature deficient?’
If you’re finding it hard to be in the moment, over-thinking things, feeling low in energy, feeling confused and disconnected and have forgotten that you’re fully connected to the abundance that is life- then most likely you are.
A quick, simple, easy and free solution?
Get outside and allow the ease and flow of nature to bring you back into your own ease and flow.
I was ultra blessed to swim with dolphins in the wild today when I went down to my local beach for a midday dip between sessions and writing.
‘Crazy Amazing’ was the phrase I used to describe it to a friend. It was surreal, but at the same time totally natural, their exuberance and playfulness utterly daunting and yet deeply familiar.
This is a photo of me in Kauai, amidst the lushest of lush rainforest and surrounded by waterfalls overflowing with what some say is the purest water on the planet.
This photo always reminds me to LET LIFE FLOW….by getting out of it’s way!
Although in wellbeing sessions we use a range of tools can be used to facilitate the flow of wellbeing- from herbal medicine through to dietary guidance through to very simple things like getting a little more sleep each night- by far and away the most effective way to allow more Wellbeing into your day is to…ALLOW it in!
By creating a small amount of time each day to pause, redirect your focus inward, breathe deeply and allow any stress, tension and resistance to be released through deep breathing and simple mindfulness techniques.
This is what I call a Daily Wellbeing Practice and it’s the number one item on all my Wellbeing Prescriptions.
Creating 5 minutes each morning and night to sit quietly, breathe deeply and release the stress and tension is a massive act of self-love on levels limitless.
Once you do this, and create a little more internal space in your mind and body, Wellbeing can flow into your mind, body and life with a little more ease and a little more grace more and more each day, resulting in a happier, calmer and more radiant you.
It really is the simple things, done each and every day, that produce the best results.
What’s more, the more you do it, the more you will crave this daily time with yourself, and a beautiful by-product of this is that you’ll have more to give to the people and situations around you.
This beautiful video clip below, narrated by (one of my all time favs) philosopher Alan Watts, explores the flaw in the concept of life being a journey.
Although I still use the word journey now and then in my sessions and writing, I may now start to replace it with something even more accurate because the words we speak (out loud or in our own heads) and what they represent for us, has such a powerful effect on our experience. Just go to any birthing room and witness the reaction that one unthoughtful word can have on a woman in labour, or conversely watch the soothing effect that a single perfect word can produce!
So, what does this video and Life not being a journey have to do with wellbeing?
It’s like when my son asks me when our bush walks start dragging on for him and he’s running out of steam, ‘When will we get to our destiny, Mum?’, (and no that’s not a typo, he confuses ‘destination’ with ‘destiny’ and I kind of love it so I don’t pull him up).
So I explain to him that as soon as we get to our ‘destiny’, we’ll have a new one again anyway…so he’s better off letting time and tiredness go and just enjoying the scenery.
‘Arriving at’ the Wellbeing we’re after is much the same.
There’s always greater wellbeing to experience, always a new destination to arrive at, so it’s natural and good to keep desiring more. But, if this more becomes the focus, and if as a result our present moment experience becomes just a means to get to somewhere in the future, then we are missing the whole point of life, which is to enjoy the experience.
So, maybe we could replace the word ‘journey’ with ‘experience’. Or even ‘play’ or ‘being’.
Because when we start to reframe our selves and our lives by letting go of the concept of ‘doing’ things along a horizontal journey of time, and instead move into a more embodied experience of being present in each ‘now’ moment with an integrated past and future, then the ‘attainment’ of wellbeing becomes something entirely different.
Now, wellbeing becomes the inevitable result of our choice to fully enjoy life, rather than the goal itself.
In the clip below, which I hope will inspire you as it has me, Alan Watts talks about the whole point of any musical composition or dance being the beauty of the entire performance and not where it’s all heading toward! This is a really helpful metaphor to keep in mind when considering where we are placing our emphasis in our own lives…Is our emphasis and awareness on the future ending or ‘tomorrow’ (which never comes by the way!), or are we actually enjoying our own composition which can only ever fully be enjoyed here and now?
Unlike listening to music or watching a dance, we can’t experience our lives if we’re outside looking in….we need to be in our life’s composition to reap the benefits and wellbeing that a fully-lived life offers.
Our destination…or destiny as my son would say…is unclear, elusive and really not the point!
And like I’ve said before, Wellbeing isn’t the point either.
Rapturous Joy is.
Full delicious engagement is.
Unbridled enthusiasm is.
Beautiful moments are.
Like in movies such as Paper planes (watch it!), where the main character decides to fly a ‘beautiful’ race instead of the fastest one, and ‘Pele’ (watch that one too!), where the legendary Brazilian soccer player wins the first world cup for Brazil by encouraging his team to play beautifully in the true Brazilian way, rather than how the outside world thinks they should, when we live our own lives beautifully, then either way, we win.
And what’s winning?
It’s living a beautiful life. One that clearly and brilliantly reflects our real selves, our true intentions, our full capabilities, and our deepest desires and values.
Wellbeing and all the things it offers such as physical vitality, emotional balance, mental clarity and spiritual connection, all assume their rightful place as natural byproducts when we make living authentically and beautifully our number one priority.
As we begin doing that and remember how to be present, to play, and to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, then life ceases to be a ‘journey’ and becomes instead a dance, a song, and a series of beautiful moments that we will be way too engaged and delighted with to ever have the time or desire to stop and ask ‘where are we going?’. We will just know that ‘here’ and ‘now’ is all there is, all there ever was, and all there ever will be….and we will dance on.
So a more helpful question than, ‘How do I get to wellbeing and all that I desire?’, is perhaps, ‘Where am I in relation to this present moment….which is where all those experiences are?’.
I hope you enjoy this video, and if you want to explore Mindfulness a little further in a session with me jump onto the contact page and send me through an email, I’d love to hear from you.
We’ve all heard of standing our ground….but what about standing our Energetic’ ground?
When it comes to your daily life, how much does it reflect who you really are and what you really want?
If it’s only a little, than chances are youre not standing your energetic ground and are instead being knocked around by people, places and situations.
What about using your always-available breath, focus and attention to positively influence your day, rather than allowing situations to push you around?
Could achieving Wellbeing it really be this simple?
But…it does take some daily practice.
A few minutes of Mindfulness each day via your Daily Wellbeing Practice (a core part of a session with me) is where you hone the powerful and innate skill of becoming more present, aware and able to respond skilfully (rather than react out of habit).
With more presence and awareness you can increase your ability to create your day, rather than letting your day create you.
From my own personal experience and from watching fantastic changes in my clients, a little daily mindfulness goes a long way in allowing us stand our Energetic Ground, create the day we want and receive the wellbeing that is available to us in every moment that WE are available to it.